The IDC origins are lost in the mists of time gone by. Certainly the incontinence section has been in existence for about 4 years (It should be noted at this point that the author has an extremely bad memory and has been known, when regaling other members of his derring do, to forget what he was talking about before he reaches the end of the story. Where was I? Oh yes. The IDC metamorphosis ed from a group of TRFC supporters who followed our glorious 1st team hither and thence. It originally had 5 members (Tom Gracey, Ned Lewis, Steve Pinder, Bill Blakemore and my good self.) It was noticed in the early days that our bladder capacities were not like wot they used to be! For we remembered in our youth that we could down 25 pints of "Starbright" on a Saturday night and not wish to empty our tanks until the following home game. This always worried me slightly at the time as I noticed that my nose ran a lot.
As time passed so we found that it was necessary to plan our away games with a little more thought. A cunning plan was devised. Each club was marked with radiating rings, like what B & Q do when they calculate their delivery charge. The rings, radiating from the centre of the away ground, marked our bladder capacities. The rings were based on a 2 pint, 4 pint and so on capacities. This unfortunately could be easily sabotaged by falling into the company of the likes of Pont and his 8 by 8 club as membership could and did, severely constrict the rings, if you see what I mean!.
Janet Arrowsmith and other ladies of The Ladies Committee were moved to tears when they were made aware of our plight and presented us with a hospital pee bottle which resides in the boot of the Catering Managers car, and if truth be known is jealously guarded by same. Another solution, as of yet untested, was that all members could be fitted with catheters painted in club colours, these they could hang out of the car windows like football supporters scarves and apart from the odd cyclist nobody would be any the wiser!
Unfortunately Bill Blakemore passed on to the great urinal in the sky and although he is greatly missed the increased room in the car did ease the bladder compression problem somewhat. However it is a loosing battle, for as our age increases so the rings diminish. Hmmm, I think I should re-phrase this.
The Dining aspect of the IDC is relatively new. This came about when it was unanimously decided to supplement our liquid refreshment when travelling to away games, with some light sustenance. It fell to me as Catering Manager to find a suitable drinking/ eating establishment within a 2 pint radius of the away club. This is our second year of away dining and we have sampled some culinary delights as far afield as Somerset and Gloucester.
My biggest challenge is yet to come when we play Barton Hill.
"Biggars" Catering Manager. Making me transport manager briefly in Neds absence was somewhat of a mistake as I have no sense of direction on land.
"Thomas O Gracey" Food critic for Hello Magazine. Tom was miscast in this role as he only eats "Am, Egg and Chips" so his food column is somewhat limited.
"Ned" Transport manager. Yet another error as Ned is colour blind which makes each traffic light controlled junction extremely interesting.
This is a the meal that Ned recommends as a slimming aid. He lost 12 stone following it as the picture below will testify.
Twiggy Lewis
"Pinder" Sports reporter and Pont baiter. Pindee is the Clubs technologist and knows about chips and that so is immensely helpful to our catering manager. He also has a "MOBILE PHONE" and whats more can text, which has made him somewhat of a nerd in the eyes of the other club members. It keeps beeping at him and updates him on all the sports results which then prompts him to ring Pont and make jeering noises. Odd world we live in.
Our next big challenge is "North Dorset Rugby Club". This means a new "Ring Chart" will have to be devised, travel sickness pills to be distributed, a holding tank fitted to the Transport Managers car, Google Earth and the Good Pub Guide poured over, the list is endless.
I do hope that the 1st team appreciates the effort and pain that "The Old Farts" go through just to cheer them on, that's if we make it to the touch line and are not in the bog!
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